Black Jack Rackham 2

I figured, rightly or wrongly, that sea chanteys might tend to be in the key of D. Also, if you electrified it, you could get a good D drone going that would ram it right along, so here's the chords after fifteen minutes work:
Black Jack Rackham
D
Black Jack Rackham, a bucccaneer captain
D
And vet'ran of many a boarding expedition,
G
Sighted the chase and came about smartly
A
As soon as he entered the Bucket o Blood.
D
A fine looking lass, he needed no glass
D
To admire her bowsprit an' the cut o her jib
G
He cruised up beside her, an' then crossed her hawser
A D
to bring the full weight of his broadside to bear.
[chorus]
D A
So here's to the barroom buccaneer, here's to the pub-stool pirate
G D
Here's to a tavern wench on my knee, and a cold pint of ale beside me.

Double-shot loaded, with Cruzan rum
He ordered another, and another again
Then his Jolly Roger he ran up the jackstaff
Prepared to board her and hefted his gaff.
[chorus]
A A/G# A/F# E D A A/G# A/F# E D (x2)
He said Hey ya ho, let's have a go! And yo ho ho, yeah blow the man down!
But she said No way Joe, I don't play for dough, and I'm not impressed by what ye've shown.
[chorus]
Black Jack Rackham, the buccaneer captain
and vet'ran of many a boarding expedition,
Gave up the chase and bore away sharply
To careen on the beach and repair his caulking.
[chorus]

Black Jack Rackham

I've been going back through my old files and trying to grab and post one song every day or two, but this one is something I wrote yesterday and today. It's still in rough draft. I'm planning on sea chantey-type music, but I've been reading a book about Paul McCartney so I think it'd be cool to throw in some "Yellow Submarine" type sounds, and the bridge is kind of rap-like. Here it is:
Black Jack Rackham
Black Jack Rackham, a bucccaneer captain
And vet'ran of many a boarding expedition,
Sighted the chase and came about smartly
As soon as he enterd the Bucket o Blood.

A fine looking lass, he needed no glass
To admire her bowsprit an' the cut o her jib
He cruised up beside her, an' then crossed her hawser
to bring the full weight of his broadside to bear.
[chorus]
So here's to the barroom buccaneer, here's to the pub-stool pirate
Here's to a tavern wench on my knee, and a cold pint of ale beside me.

Double-shot loaded, with Cruzan rum
He ordered another, and another again
Then his Jolly Roger he ran up the jackstaff
Prepared to board her and hefted his gaff.
[chorus]
He said Hey ya ho, let's have a go! And yo ho ho, yeah blow the man down!
But she said No way Joe, I don't play for dough, and I'm not impressed by what ye've shown.
[chorus]
Black Jack Rackham, the buccaneer captain
and vet'ran of many a boarding expedition,
Gave up the chase and bore away sharply
To careen on the beach and repair his caulking.
[chorus]

What'd I Say

"What'd I Say" is the most finished of all the songs I made up last summer. It's mostly ripped off from a set of pick-up lines guaranteed not to work that I saw on some joke site somewhere. The chord sequence was intially inspired by Bob Dylan's "The Times are A-Changin'" This is one of my songs that is so long I can't remember all the lyrics when I try to sing it. How embarrassing to be singing a song you wrote and forget the words.

What'd I Say
[Chorus:]
C D G Em
What’d I do? What’d I say?
G C D Dsus D
Why’d she slap me and flounce away?
C D G Em
I don’t know why I bother to go out on the town
G C D Dsus D
when every woman I talk to just shoots me down.
C D G Em
I start conversations, but they don’t last long,
G C D Dsus D
because I’m always saying something wrong.
[Verse]
G Am Bm G
A guy said, “Say something witty, not the same old line,
Bm G Am C
Like ‘Do you come here often,’ or ‘What‘s your sign?’.”
G Am Bm G
So I said, “You're always on my mind...but I'd rather have you on my bed.”
Bm G Am C
Then I tried, “I can introduce myself, if you don’t give strangers head.”
G Am Bm G
And, “Remember my name’s Jeff, ’cause you’ll be screaming it all night.”
Bm G Am C
I guess that’s why the bouncer knew it when he came to throw me out.
[Chorus]
I read that you’re supposed to compliment a girl,
So I tried, “Are those space pants, ‘cause your ass is out of this world!”
I tried it straight: “Your rack is fantastic!”
And creative: Do you use windex? I can see myself in your pants!
Then I tried, “Is it hot in here, or is it just you?”
That one got me shot down, too.
[Chorus]
I asked a friend for help. Compliment their clothes, he said.
I tried, “That’s a beautiful dress, it’d look great lying beside my bed.”
And, “That shirt looks very becoming on you,
but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.”
I don’t know why neither one of those worked,
one women slapped me, the other called me a jerk.

[Chorus]
I said, Nice boots, they’d look good crossed behind my back.”
She said, “ you’re about to have one halfway up your ass!”
I looked again. "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
She told me, "Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore"
Now I’m getting dirty looks from her “friend”
Why do all the beautiful ones turn out to be lesbians?
[Chorus]

Easy Street Revisited

I think posting "Easy Street" got me thinking about it again, and I revised the lyrics a little in the second verse:

Easy Street
A D A D
I drove my Navigator up and down
A D A D
Searching all over town,
A D A D E
But I never found Easy Street.
D
Easy Street
A D E
Where the hell is Easy Street?

I bought a new atlas,
a Blackberry, and a GPS,
tried GoogleEarth and Mapquest.
Looking for Easy Street.
Easy Street
Where the hell is Easy Street?

Now I’m on stuck on Heartbreak Hill
Workin’ my ass off to pay my bills,
But man, it’s gonna be such a thrill
When I’m on Easy Street.
Easy Street
Where the hell is Easy Street?

Easy Street.
Easy Street [end on A]
Where the hell is Easy Street?

Rat Bastards

"Rat Bastards" is another simple-minded, stripped-down ditty from last summer.
G C D G
There’s a woman in my neighborhood
G D G
Struggling to raise her three kids
G C D G
When I see her all she talks about
G D G
Is what a rat bastard her ex-husband is.

chorus:
G C
Rat bastard, rat bastard
D G
He’s nothing but a rat bastard!
G C
Rat bastards, rat bastards
G D G
The world is full of rat bastards.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
And Jack brought a fifth of gin
It’s a good thing Jill was on the pill
‘Cause she never saw Jack again

chorus(2):
G C
Rat bastards, rat bastards
D G
Look out girls, they’re rat bastards
G C
Rat bastards, rat bastards
G D G
The world is full of rat bastards

Little Jack Horner trapped a girl in the corner
And stuck his thumb in the pie
Then he told her he’d love her for ever and ever
But it was nothing but a lie.

chorus(2):

You’re sweet, and smart and beautiful,
And I’m already half in love with you
But there’s one thing you should know, before we go:
I’m a rat bastard, too.

chorus(3):
G C
Rat bastard, rat bastard
D G
I’m another rat bastard
G C
Rat bastards, rat bastards
G D G
The world is full of rat bastards

It's Beautiful

This is another work "in progress" that I got to this point last summer, and need to make up music for.

I was with some of the fellows, buying a few rounds of drinks
When some of ‘em got to talking about the woman of their dreams.

One said,
I want a woman about four feet tall
With a flat top on her head
And no teeth at all
Man that’s beautiful, yeah that’s beautiful, yeah that’s beautiful to me.

Another said,
I want a blonde with a cup size bigger than her IQ
A pneumatic pornographic bimbo who says
“Sounds good” whatever I want to do.
Man that’s beautiful, yeah that’s beautiful, yeah that’s beautiful to me.

I said you fellows haven’t thought the whole thing through.
Here’s the story of my dream woman, and every word is true.

I’d just spent my last dollar on my last beer
When she came tottering in.
She had one leg shorter than the other
And red blotches all over her skin.
She pulled out a roll of twenties
And bought me drinks again and again.
Now that was beautiful, yeah that’s beautiful, yeah that’s beautiful to me.

A glass beside the bed
is where she keeps her teeth,
While her hair hangs in the walk-in closet
of the master suite
Of her ski chalet at the mountain,
or summer place at the beach
And that’s beautiful, yeah that’s beautiful, yeah that’s beautiful to me.
Yes, It’s beautiful, yeah that’s beautiful, yeah that’s beautiful to me.

My Woman

Here's some lyrics I put together last summer after having some of the pieces for a while. I envisioned it as a funk/soul song. The other day I heard Bob Seger's "Her Strut" on the radio and thought that would be an appropriate sound for this song, but I still haven't worked the music at all.
My Woman
My woman, she’s the best; she’s better than all the rest
I put her to the test; she’s better than all the rest.
Must ‘a been about a dozen men got whiplash when she sashayed in.
‘cause she’s built better than the rest.

She’s my woman, she’s the best; better than all the rest.
She’s the best, yeah, she’s the best. She’s better than all the rest.
Brick house ain’t good enough for her, she’s put together like a fallout shelter.
Yeah! she’s the best, better than all the rest.

Smokin’! She’s hot! Other woman want what my woman’s got.
They wish they were that fine, but they’re not.
They all give her the green-eyed stare; my woman she don’t care.
My woman, she’s the best; she’s better than all the rest.

Smokin’! She’s hot! All the men want the woman I got.
They wanna be her man, but they’re not.
It’s enough to make you sick, the way those fellows’ eyeballs click.
She’s my woman, she’s the best; better than all the rest.

Smokin’! She’s hot! And as you might have guessed
She calls the shots.
Men lost their breath when she started to dance; They called nine one one for an ambulance.
My woman, she’s the best; she’s better than all the rest.

Johnny Cash Blues

We were talking about Cash the other day at work, and I remembered I wrote this tribute to him on the day he died. To the tune of "Folsom Prison Blues" (obviously, I hope).
Johnny Cash Blues
E
I heard the news this morning: His road has reached its end
E E7
We won’t hear any new songs from the man in black again.
A E
It’s a Friday in September, and time keeps draggin’ on.
B7 E
Life ain’t gettin’ any better, ‘cause Johnny Cash is gone.

When I was just a baby, he was rockin down at Sun
with Jerry Lee and Elvis and blue suede Carl Perkins
Then he had his own TV show, played Folsom prison, too,
And yeah he played some silly songs, like “A Boy Named Sue.”

He kept on making music, right up until he died;
“The Man Comes Around” made me feel so lonesome I could cry.
The train is in the station. The song has reached its end.
We’ll never hear another man like Johnny Cash again.

Easy Street

Easy Street
A D A D
I drove my Navigator up and down
A D A D
Searching all over town,
A D A D E
But I never found Easy Street.
D
Easy Street
A D E
Where the hell is Easy Street?

I bought a new atlas
Booted up my Palm Pilot,
And logged onto Mapquest.
Looking for Easy Street.
Easy Street
Where the hell is Easy Street?

Now I’m on stuck on Heartbreak Hill
Workin’ my ass off to pay my bills,
But man, it’s gonna be such a thrill
When I’m on Easy Street.
Easy Street
Where the hell is Easy Street?

Easy Street.
Easy Street [end on A]
Where the hell is Easy Street?

Welcome to the New Jasmine Six-String

The old Jasmine kept making my desktop computer think it didn't have flashplayer installed, so I had stopped visiting and posting there. Now I've created the new Jasmine Six-String as a place to share my musical and lyrical ideas.