What'd I Say

"What'd I Say" is the most finished of all the songs I made up last summer. It's mostly ripped off from a set of pick-up lines guaranteed not to work that I saw on some joke site somewhere. The chord sequence was intially inspired by Bob Dylan's "The Times are A-Changin'" This is one of my songs that is so long I can't remember all the lyrics when I try to sing it. How embarrassing to be singing a song you wrote and forget the words.

What'd I Say
[Chorus:]
C D G Em
What’d I do? What’d I say?
G C D Dsus D
Why’d she slap me and flounce away?
C D G Em
I don’t know why I bother to go out on the town
G C D Dsus D
when every woman I talk to just shoots me down.
C D G Em
I start conversations, but they don’t last long,
G C D Dsus D
because I’m always saying something wrong.
[Verse]
G Am Bm G
A guy said, “Say something witty, not the same old line,
Bm G Am C
Like ‘Do you come here often,’ or ‘What‘s your sign?’.”
G Am Bm G
So I said, “You're always on my mind...but I'd rather have you on my bed.”
Bm G Am C
Then I tried, “I can introduce myself, if you don’t give strangers head.”
G Am Bm G
And, “Remember my name’s Jeff, ’cause you’ll be screaming it all night.”
Bm G Am C
I guess that’s why the bouncer knew it when he came to throw me out.
[Chorus]
I read that you’re supposed to compliment a girl,
So I tried, “Are those space pants, ‘cause your ass is out of this world!”
I tried it straight: “Your rack is fantastic!”
And creative: Do you use windex? I can see myself in your pants!
Then I tried, “Is it hot in here, or is it just you?”
That one got me shot down, too.
[Chorus]
I asked a friend for help. Compliment their clothes, he said.
I tried, “That’s a beautiful dress, it’d look great lying beside my bed.”
And, “That shirt looks very becoming on you,
but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.”
I don’t know why neither one of those worked,
one women slapped me, the other called me a jerk.

[Chorus]
I said, Nice boots, they’d look good crossed behind my back.”
She said, “ you’re about to have one halfway up your ass!”
I looked again. "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
She told me, "Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore"
Now I’m getting dirty looks from her “friend”
Why do all the beautiful ones turn out to be lesbians?
[Chorus]