A couple years ago I heard one of those songs that has a line like "one and one is two..." and thought I'd like to write a song like that. It seemed like maybe using a piece of an old nursery rhyme, and it fit in with what I'd been doing recycling lines from old blues songs (see "Bad Woman Blues" and others). By the time I was done writing I had "Word Problems."
I'm posting it here now because I just emailed the address of the blog to a friend who is a math teacher, though the song isn't about me or anyone I know. It's kind of in the vein of Elton John's "Teacher I Need You" or Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher," but it might be the sweetest song I've written so far. The music is very low-key, acoustic strumming, faster in the chorus, almost talking in the verses.
Word Problems
Math teacher, math teacher, I love you, though I don’t understand a thing you do.
Will you help me if I stay after school, solve the problem of the unknown, lovesick fool?
If Bobby has twelve apples, and Johnny just has three,
How many apples must I give to get you to fall in love with me?
I know the operations, but which one will it take
To get you to say yes, so my poor heart doesn’t break?
Math teacher, math teacher, I love you, though I don’t understand a thing you do.
Will you help me if I stay after school, solve the problem of the unknown, lovesick fool?
If I have a pound of butter, and chocolate chips are $1.99
How many cookies will it take for you to know I want you to be mine?
If a freight train leaves Chicago, going sixty down the track,
Can I get you to say, “I do” before that train gets back?
Math teacher, math teacher, I love you, though I don’t understand a thing you do.
Will you help me if I stay after school, solve the problem of the unknown, lovesick fool?
Let Y be you, let X be me,
Let’s be indivisible for eternity
Let the power of two be you and I,
At least until we multiply.
Math teacher, math teacher, I love you, though I don’t understand a thing you do.
Will you help me if I stay after school, solve the problem of the unknown, lovesick fool?
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